老实说，我，一点也不开心。很多朋友，每位都认识但一个真心朋友都没有那种感觉烂透了。我知道没有人能比得过你们。我对自己彻底的失望。我不是没有朋友，而是很多朋友。可是，在很多人在一起时，有种搭不上话、不明白发生了什么事的感觉。我，很怀疑自己的沟通能力。今天，终于又为了朋友而哭。你知道，我看起来朋友很多，但是其实好孤单。这个在心情低落时，便能感受到。因为，我不知应向谁诉苦。

Finally, I updated my blog. My maid had gone for a few weeks and my parents don't want to hire any maid anymore so three of us have to help out on housework like sweeping, mopping the floor, doing the washing up, cleaning up after eating, folding the clothes. Well, I admit that I'm such a blissful child since I bornt. That's what I fell very lucky for. So it's time to learn to be independent, learn to deal with those household work. 

Finally, It's alr half month of July, well this month is neither bad nor good. Test had just finished. I'm totally unsatisfied with my test results although I knew I won't score well because I didn't not pay much attention, made enough efforts and tried my best. I knew I didn't not study enough , wasting time doing unimportant stuff. That's why at the end it proved to me. This is what I'll get if I did that. I was frustrated looking comparing my results and my classmates' results. It's a huge contrast. Most of my classmates are not only smart but also very hardworking. I can see their efforts. They study everyday after school, do all homework that our tutors giving to us, did many extra exercises. But what I've done? Honestly, I only study the notes that teacher giving to me. That's all. I can't be so distracted anymore. I've to change my bad habit. I used to study at the last minutes at my previous time but now I shouldn't continue this habit. I actually very worry if I can sustain my scholarship. No!!!! Ying Jie, pls study harder! Still rmb your dream?

To be real instead of perfect. ;)

好吧，我知道有一天，我会再次像过往那样，忍住心中的痛与遗憾向暗恋说声再见。怎么给我勇气？或许，一次初恋情就结婚的人比较幸福，因为不用经历分手的痛，对吗？我该不该在这次来个不一样的改变，化被动为主动？

Once my maid had gone , actually that's not change much. We just have to help on some household work. Household work is not hard but sometimes it's just make us felt tired. It's time for us to learn to be independent. I was such an typical independent child since small. That's not good so this's the time. Ya lah, I noe I'm so lucky to born to have ppl to rely on. I'll treasure everything that GOD & my parents have given to me. I'm so appreciate for things that I've. Although sometimes I may not satisfied for some single thing that I don't have while others have. Just trying to upgrade myself. 

Sometimes, how u want ppl to look on u is depend on how you are looking on yourself. Image is set up by ourselves , not others.

So today I was lucky enough. Because I 

could see you, & it's more than once. A bit weird if telling out how mad I'm but I just tell. So, at first. I knew u would be having class on DK 2 at 8am but my class at Dk is at 9am so I was waiting forward & keep peering at Dk 2 while ppl walking out from Dk2. But I couldn't see u. Just felt a bit disappointed & guessed that I won't be able to see u this week.

After having Biology lecture, there was a guy entered the lectures telling  us abt our alumnus coming back to TARC to give us talk abt studying in Oxford University. Yes, they're currently studying in Oxford University, the top ranking University that most of the ppl not dare to set it as the dream University including me. One of them is my secondary school senior, TARC principal's son , who scored 4A* in his A level examination. Everyone just have thisO_O  knowing his results. Yes, he is just like a genius.  While another two are studying law & maths respectively in Oxford. Well, the talk is given at my break time so I attended the talk. Of course, I was wondering if he attending too. As my estimation, I thought he won't attend. Before entering the classroom, I saw he & his classmates inside the room. I thought we were entering the wrong room but my classmates said it's here, see our classmates are in here too. So , I felt so happy seeing him there too. He was wearing specs today , looking smart. He looks good either with or without specs. ^^ But the thing is he seemed didn't noticed me there. I just glance at him for a few time. Okay. Can't be too obvious.

Second times, after Applied Maths lecture , while I was walking out the lecture he was just standing out the lecture hall with his classmates. I felt happier again. But again, I think he didn't see me. That's the thing. 

After having Physics class , wanna pass my poster design to my group leader who same Dk with him. Looking inside the lecture, seeing him inside too. They were just wanna start their test. 

 

My classmates know my secret cuz we were talking about this topic tgt before started the talk , I show them but they couldn't see. 

Yes. Seeing him is one of the thing that can brighten me up. ^^

Monday is not completely a bad day if I have the chance to meet you. Even though it's just  a short glance, it can light up my day. Yes, our crush just like the remove control of our emotion. I hope you recognized me, I didn't changed much actually. & I hope tomorrow I'm lucky enough to see you. 😊❤

There's another very important subject having test tomorrow. Wish I able to answer all the questions. I felt so sorry for not trying my best efforts to study it. Just need some momentum to push me up. Chemistry is my favorite subject, even though it's  though but I just like it. Yea. I swear I'll study harder this time.😊 

Just smile while u r not feeling well which can make u feel better. Try it, it's effective actually. ^^ Life is better when you smile. Looking at the Minions & u will know why they're so inportant showing a nice smile in front the others. They're so adorable because of their cheerful appearance just make ppl mad on them. It's too cute. & I'm getting crazy with the Minions.

I wish I can finish all the test faster & go watch Despicable Me 2 because I just can't wait for it! Impatience .