今天是美好的一天。早晨就有🌈 的出现。似乎一种美好的迹象。一天下来感觉还不错。只是累了点。

没想到他竟然看出我今天特别累。昨晚两点多起床做功课到四点多。@@ 

其实，我也不懂我为什么要对他那么好。啊啊啊〜 不懂啊！ 

我不该那么容易因为你而影响自己的情绪。因为我不能保证我这样做是值得的还是浪费时间与力气的。

I just felt depressed when I didn't know who can I shared my secret. Not because I've no friends, I got many friends .I could share my secret bt sometimes I'll worry if they don't willing to listen to me. Like very fuyan !So I'll stop telling them. Bt I'm the one that can't control myself to share sth I felt happy or sad. Isn't a friends is the person that will share your happiness & sadness? When I'm really excited just to share sth when the reaction of the person seems nt willing to hear I'll get really hurt. I just too easy to be hurted ! :( because I take every friendship really important bt I didnt felt that ppl do the same things to me! 

Felt like crying when knowing this. My emotion changes easily. :(

Medical school ?! Will I achieve my dream? Worrying...

Such a coincidence :))

One day, I went to return the student attendance record book to the SPUS office & waited for mr low to ask him about the change of venue for practical class. I waited for a while & I was impatience because mr low was still busy talking with other ppl. Then, I decided to return to the office later. So, while I opened the door, suddenly a guy appeared very near in front of me. It's such a coincidence because we opened the door at the same & not realizing that behind the door there was also a ppl opening the door.I got shocked. He is very tall.I lifted my head , looking at him. Feeling so awkward! & he said sorry to me. Suddenly, I recognized that face, he was the one that I partner with during the midnight patrolling at my St.John division camp. I could recognized his face , I wondered if he recognized me. I'm very good at recognizing ppl's faces actually. I just wondered if he does. It has been one & a half year I had not met him. I remember that time I didn't talked much with him while we're patrolling because I was such a shy girl that time. I still remember his name & wanna call him but I scared that he couldn't recognized me so I didn't do that! :3

Weekends :D

It's the day I'm waiting for. My weekends. A temporary break. A relief. Ya. It's the second week. My classmates had tried to make everyone closer . That's great! ;) I just like them. They are natural, friendly, kind & helpful. I've no pressure being with them. :) I like the way they are. I've never like my classmates like how I do now. Ya. I can be a real me naturally. I like who I'm now because I'm who I'm now. :) ya, that's my target & I've achieved it.

Well, before I knew them I thought my results is already good but after I met them I think that my results still have to have more improvement because they're genius . How can they get so many A+? Omg. You thought you're smart , they are still lots of ppl who smarter than you a lot. A part of feeling stressful studying with super talented classmates ,it provides me a great chance to get myself more improvement & more efforts to achieve brilliant results. I wish I can be a better & smarter person! Haha:D

Being a class rep is not I'll ever though of but I'm a class rep now. I felt stress for having lots of extra jobs but a other than that I get to talk & know all of my classmates now. Everyone knows me in my class. & everyone like to friend with me on class. Never have classmates treat me like this before but I feel so happy & touching now. Yea! I've changed. I'm not the previous Ying Jie anymore. I'm who I'm now. I felt so touched when my friends asked me ," hey, did you be a committee for any society or a class monitor before ?" I said, " no, I never." " really?! Why you look so steady?& you can handle all those stuff nicely!  " " really ?! Am I ?" First time , there are ppl who praising me for that. I felt touched.;) I'll try to be a better class rep. :)

Today is Saturday. Gonna spent my Saturday wisely. Treasure every leisure time I've before getting regret after wasting too much time. Try to force myself to study more even though I'll not did this while I was studying in secondary school. Ppl thought I'm really hardworking but actually I'm not. I actually wasted lots of time online at home. I'm very easily to be distracted!

Before having a rest, do revision first! :D Hi, Physics ! I'll try to like you. I hope you like me too! :P

A fruitful Sunday

So I've a fruitful Sunday spending the while day doing revision for all the subjects, Physics, Pure Maths, Biology & Chemistry. My Sunday is meaningful. ^_^

Physics is still easy for the first chapter so I still don't have big problem with it. :)

Pure Maths is easy because I've learnt before. It's even easy than sm3 standard.

My Bio lecture scared us for the first lecture by telling us that A levels Biology is easy to understand & study but very hard to score. We have to be prepare to accept the results that make us frustrated & don't set too high target. & she told us we will even get no more than ten marks over one hundred marks. Really?! Maybe I think. But I'll try my best to score well because it's an important subject for me.:) 

 My second favourite subject, Chemistry! 

Ohh, the lecture so fast. We always have to write very quickly to keep up with him. He told us after studying A levels we will walk , write, & eat faster. Haha. Maybe. Because I also felt that I walk faster these days . Maybe we always have to rush to the lecture hall & tutorial classroom since TARUC is so huge! :3 

Ok, not bad lahh . Since I've try my very first step to do revision which I'll not do in my secondary school. In secondary school, I always like to wait until last minutes & force myself very seriously to study & swallow all the syllabus I till so stressful. So, I decide to do revision ever day after class. ^_^

Ya, I know I'm just an obedient child. Too obedient ! :P 

Today is Mother's Day. I felt so sorry because I really didn't have time to buy present for her. & I'm also not creative enough to make any handmade gift. So I just write a very touching letter to her. Although sometimes we'll argue with each other, I'll still love my mum soooo much because I know there will not be a second person who will treat me so well like my mum treat me. ;)  only parents will love & sacrifice themselves for us for no reason. You can never ever find the second person like them. :)

First week of college life ^w^

Yea, it's the start of my college life & for me it's such a culture shock. It's the first week, and sadly I found that it was not like how I expected last time. It's still a stressful study life. Or maybe only for TARUC students but not for the other college students. When the lectures ask who is the merit scholars in A levels , I saw there are nearly 80% of students raised up their hand. Although I'm also one of them but I was so shocked because I thought college life will not as competitive as my secondary school life. Never could I imagined that college life is even competitive than secondary school life. Only the first few days of lesson, my classmates told me they did revision everyday. But what did I do? I went back & online & slept ! Lol! -.-  How can they be so hardworking. I remember I  give myself a very high & hard target ------ be one of the top students on TARUC , but now ? If I didn't change myself to be hardworking like them then probably I'll be dropped behind. Don't be set high target first , if not I'll really frustrated after that. Let's try to keep on my scholarship first. I'm really scared if I can't manage to keep my A levels results above the level and my scholarship will be withdrawn. Nooooo , plsssss!  Remember your dream? Plss, work hard plssss Ying Jie ! This is more important . Pls don't be distract , pls be determined !  





There are still got things that make me glad of myself. I really did the promise to change myself. I used to be a extremely shy & quiet girl in my primary & secondary school. I never have the courageous to change myself although I always keep telling myself to change. But every year I still same class with most my old classmates so I was still not dare to change & I get so disappointed of myself. Sooooo. It comes to plkn. Yea, a new environment of course is a great chance for me to change. Although I've change a little bit but for my plkn friends , I'm still the shy & quiet girl. Soooo, that time I felt depressed too. But there I met a really active & outgoing girl who try to advise me & encourage me to change. What very funny is she said she is too noisy & she want to change to be a more quiet girl. Then both of us make a promise to be the person we want to be---- like she wanted to be quieter & I wanted to be noisier. Well, it's so funny! & ten years later we want to see if we got did our promise. After plkn she went to a college and she told me on Facebook that she had change to be quieter. I felt so happy to see her efforts for changing. But what about me? I'm still shy ? Who has stolen my courageous, I wondered.




Then, it started a new path if life------ college life. So, I keep telling & encouraging myself not to bother too much because you really can't pls everyone to like you. Even though you are so good but there are still some ppl will envy you. So why keep hiding the real you infont inside , just showing the real one. There are not my business if ppl don't like me. Am I right? Who should I bother too much? Can't I just treat myself better?



That's why I really made the efforts to change. The first step , I've made out. When the teacher asked who volunteer to be the class rep, I just raised up my hand. Actually I really waited for so long but finally I just raised. I would never be sooooooo brave like this. You know everyone is the anonymous, I still don't know they well but I just raised up my hand. So , yea, now I'm the class rep of my class. Responsible to do so many things which make me felt so stressful nowadays. Do photocopying job, announcing things, open fb group, collect tutorial books fees, discussing things with other class 's class rep . Of course, I felt regretful of being a class rep which gives me lots of extra jobs but I get to know everyone in my class , my lectures and other class ppl. So that's why it's also a very good opportunity for me. So I just felt glad for my changes. I try to show the real me infront of others. I just want to be natural & simple.


Luckily, I've friendly & cooperated classmates. They're friendly & they won't choose who they want to friend with. Although they are a bit cool in the first few days but now I can see their change. Ya, we're closer now but that's not enough I wish to have a college friends & classmates like a big family. We support & have fun together.That's how I want my college life to be. Not only studying, but also interesting & fantastic! :D