Yea, it's the start of my college life & for me it's such a culture shock. It's the first week, and sadly I found that it was not like how I expected last time. It's still a stressful study life. Or maybe only for TARUC students but not for the other college students. When the lectures ask who is the merit scholars in A levels , I saw there are nearly 80% of students raised up their hand. Although I'm also one of them but I was so shocked because I thought college life will not as competitive as my secondary school life. Never could I imagined that college life is even competitive than secondary school life. Only the first few days of lesson, my classmates told me they did revision everyday. But what did I do? I went back & online & slept ! Lol! -.- How can they be so hardworking. I remember I give myself a very high & hard target ------ be one of the top students on TARUC , but now ? If I didn't change myself to be hardworking like them then probably I'll be dropped behind. Don't be set high target first , if not I'll really frustrated after that. Let's try to keep on my scholarship first. I'm really scared if I can't manage to keep my A levels results above the level and my scholarship will be withdrawn. Nooooo , plsssss! Remember your dream? Plss, work hard plssss Ying Jie ! This is more important . Pls don't be distract , pls be determined !
There are still got things that make me glad of myself. I really did the promise to change myself. I used to be a extremely shy & quiet girl in my primary & secondary school. I never have the courageous to change myself although I always keep telling myself to change. But every year I still same class with most my old classmates so I was still not dare to change & I get so disappointed of myself. Sooooo. It comes to plkn. Yea, a new environment of course is a great chance for me to change. Although I've change a little bit but for my plkn friends , I'm still the shy & quiet girl. Soooo, that time I felt depressed too. But there I met a really active & outgoing girl who try to advise me & encourage me to change. What very funny is she said she is too noisy & she want to change to be a more quiet girl. Then both of us make a promise to be the person we want to be---- like she wanted to be quieter & I wanted to be noisier. Well, it's so funny! & ten years later we want to see if we got did our promise. After plkn she went to a college and she told me on Facebook that she had change to be quieter. I felt so happy to see her efforts for changing. But what about me? I'm still shy ? Who has stolen my courageous, I wondered.
Then, it started a new path if life------ college life. So, I keep telling & encouraging myself not to bother too much because you really can't pls everyone to like you. Even though you are so good but there are still some ppl will envy you. So why keep hiding the real you infont inside , just showing the real one. There are not my business if ppl don't like me. Am I right? Who should I bother too much? Can't I just treat myself better?
That's why I really made the efforts to change. The first step , I've made out. When the teacher asked who volunteer to be the class rep, I just raised up my hand. Actually I really waited for so long but finally I just raised. I would never be sooooooo brave like this. You know everyone is the anonymous, I still don't know they well but I just raised up my hand. So , yea, now I'm the class rep of my class. Responsible to do so many things which make me felt so stressful nowadays. Do photocopying job, announcing things, open fb group, collect tutorial books fees, discussing things with other class 's class rep . Of course, I felt regretful of being a class rep which gives me lots of extra jobs but I get to know everyone in my class , my lectures and other class ppl. So that's why it's also a very good opportunity for me. So I just felt glad for my changes. I try to show the real me infront of others. I just want to be natural & simple.
Luckily, I've friendly & cooperated classmates. They're friendly & they won't choose who they want to friend with. Although they are a bit cool in the first few days but now I can see their change. Ya, we're closer now but that's not enough I wish to have a college friends & classmates like a big family. We support & have fun together.That's how I want my college life to be. Not only studying, but also interesting & fantastic! :D
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