老实说，我，一点也不开心。很多朋友，每位都认识但一个真心朋友都没有那种感觉烂透了。我知道没有人能比得过你们。我对自己彻底的失望。我不是没有朋友，而是很多朋友。可是，在很多人在一起时，有种搭不上话、不明白发生了什么事的感觉。我，很怀疑自己的沟通能力。今天，终于又为了朋友而哭。你知道，我看起来朋友很多，但是其实好孤单。这个在心情低落时，便能感受到。因为，我不知应向谁诉苦。

Finally, I updated my blog. My maid had gone for a few weeks and my parents don't want to hire any maid anymore so three of us have to help out on housework like sweeping, mopping the floor, doing the washing up, cleaning up after eating, folding the clothes. Well, I admit that I'm such a blissful child since I bornt. That's what I fell very lucky for. So it's time to learn to be independent, learn to deal with those household work. 

Finally, It's alr half month of July, well this month is neither bad nor good. Test had just finished. I'm totally unsatisfied with my test results although I knew I won't score well because I didn't not pay much attention, made enough efforts and tried my best. I knew I didn't not study enough , wasting time doing unimportant stuff. That's why at the end it proved to me. This is what I'll get if I did that. I was frustrated looking comparing my results and my classmates' results. It's a huge contrast. Most of my classmates are not only smart but also very hardworking. I can see their efforts. They study everyday after school, do all homework that our tutors giving to us, did many extra exercises. But what I've done? Honestly, I only study the notes that teacher giving to me. That's all. I can't be so distracted anymore. I've to change my bad habit. I used to study at the last minutes at my previous time but now I shouldn't continue this habit. I actually very worry if I can sustain my scholarship. No!!!! Ying Jie, pls study harder! Still rmb your dream?

To be real instead of perfect. ;)

好吧，我知道有一天，我会再次像过往那样，忍住心中的痛与遗憾向暗恋说声再见。怎么给我勇气？或许，一次初恋情就结婚的人比较幸福，因为不用经历分手的痛，对吗？我该不该在这次来个不一样的改变，化被动为主动？

Once my maid had gone , actually that's not change much. We just have to help on some household work. Household work is not hard but sometimes it's just make us felt tired. It's time for us to learn to be independent. I was such an typical independent child since small. That's not good so this's the time. Ya lah, I noe I'm so lucky to born to have ppl to rely on. I'll treasure everything that GOD & my parents have given to me. I'm so appreciate for things that I've. Although sometimes I may not satisfied for some single thing that I don't have while others have. Just trying to upgrade myself. 

Sometimes, how u want ppl to look on u is depend on how you are looking on yourself. Image is set up by ourselves , not others.

So today I was lucky enough. Because I 

could see you, & it's more than once. A bit weird if telling out how mad I'm but I just tell. So, at first. I knew u would be having class on DK 2 at 8am but my class at Dk is at 9am so I was waiting forward & keep peering at Dk 2 while ppl walking out from Dk2. But I couldn't see u. Just felt a bit disappointed & guessed that I won't be able to see u this week.

After having Biology lecture, there was a guy entered the lectures telling  us abt our alumnus coming back to TARC to give us talk abt studying in Oxford University. Yes, they're currently studying in Oxford University, the top ranking University that most of the ppl not dare to set it as the dream University including me. One of them is my secondary school senior, TARC principal's son , who scored 4A* in his A level examination. Everyone just have thisO_O  knowing his results. Yes, he is just like a genius.  While another two are studying law & maths respectively in Oxford. Well, the talk is given at my break time so I attended the talk. Of course, I was wondering if he attending too. As my estimation, I thought he won't attend. Before entering the classroom, I saw he & his classmates inside the room. I thought we were entering the wrong room but my classmates said it's here, see our classmates are in here too. So , I felt so happy seeing him there too. He was wearing specs today , looking smart. He looks good either with or without specs. ^^ But the thing is he seemed didn't noticed me there. I just glance at him for a few time. Okay. Can't be too obvious.

Second times, after Applied Maths lecture , while I was walking out the lecture he was just standing out the lecture hall with his classmates. I felt happier again. But again, I think he didn't see me. That's the thing. 

After having Physics class , wanna pass my poster design to my group leader who same Dk with him. Looking inside the lecture, seeing him inside too. They were just wanna start their test. 

 

My classmates know my secret cuz we were talking about this topic tgt before started the talk , I show them but they couldn't see. 

Yes. Seeing him is one of the thing that can brighten me up. ^^

Monday is not completely a bad day if I have the chance to meet you. Even though it's just  a short glance, it can light up my day. Yes, our crush just like the remove control of our emotion. I hope you recognized me, I didn't changed much actually. & I hope tomorrow I'm lucky enough to see you. 😊❤

There's another very important subject having test tomorrow. Wish I able to answer all the questions. I felt so sorry for not trying my best efforts to study it. Just need some momentum to push me up. Chemistry is my favorite subject, even though it's  though but I just like it. Yea. I swear I'll study harder this time.😊 

Just smile while u r not feeling well which can make u feel better. Try it, it's effective actually. ^^ Life is better when you smile. Looking at the Minions & u will know why they're so inportant showing a nice smile in front the others. They're so adorable because of their cheerful appearance just make ppl mad on them. It's too cute. & I'm getting crazy with the Minions.

I wish I can finish all the test faster & go watch Despicable Me 2 because I just can't wait for it! Impatience . 

嗨。你是怎么找到我的部落格的？谢谢光临，我不怎么爱显露自己的秘密，个人比较低调点，但是你来了我也很欢迎！^_^ 

部落格，是我发泄情绪的地方，就像是把心中的不悦说给别人听一样，说出来了，心情就好些了。好吧，其实我承认我个人比较笨一点，喜怒唉乐写在脸上，不懂得用笑来掩盖自己心中的痛，常被别人讲我苦瓜脸。我尽量改进了。我改变可很多，这是我妈妈和我老朋友说的。虽然还是没有很好，但我会继续改变！❤ 

也许18岁的我，还是要平淡孤单地过。应该也没有什么精彩特别的事发生了。还是一样，就读书。好吧？你觉得我是不是很纳闷啊？我就是那么被动，想得到，但不会尽力争取。相信有一天，有人会夺走他，我的暗恋又要以失望收场了。还是，做个老姑婆终老了？

随着时间，渐渐成长，渐渐领悟。想对暂时没有爱情的单身人士说，爱情不需要急。因为，最后你只是跟那么一个人，携手到老。慢慢的，耐心的你，有一天也会等到，找到那个对的人。先用心，珍惜当下的幸福，体会人生的精彩。为自己未来打拼。爱情的关键不在于早而在于对的人。哪怕是晚也好、只要他／她是对的人，你也会幸福。我知道对的人有一天在一个时空下会出现。我会耐心地等待。❤

有时，我很怀疑，我的心是不是玻璃做的？它很脆弱，不经意地会不小心被弄碎。但是，总是自己慢慢复原。我有很多朋友，知心的只有几个。伤心时，会很想找个诉苦的地方。但是，很多时候，不想打扰他们。就让时间淡化，让伤口复原。明天，又换张开心的笑脸迎人吧！许多人常说只有在中小学才会认识真正知心的好知己。这句话，对我来说有点可怕。是不是，人长大人了，性格渐渐的恶化？把不是性格恶化的迹象吗？人越变越现实。我很单纯，单纯地想对每个朋友都很好。但是，却害怕有一天会浑身伤痕累累。好吧。我希望老天保佑我在学院也能遇见想中学知己那么真诚的朋友。

有些事不能一开始就设下定居。慢慢专研才能领悟知晓。希望，我是幸运的那位。

This year I've known so many ppl . Maybe I got more fate with more ppl this year. I can make friends easily. Just talk to them normally. My friends even said you seems like got so many friends . Yea. Maybe . But my previous time was not like this. That's why I appreciate it. Love making new friends. Feeling awesome ! :D 

Yes. I saw you on Monday. DK 2 . You opened the door I'm standing right opposite to u , neither near nor far. If I wasn't wrong, you had a short glance on me. I wondered if you recognized me. 

& today your classmates passed by me. I looked at them & they looked at me with dont know what expression. I wondered why they always look at me so ..... I don't know. @-@ 

Tomorrow is my first Biology test. I'm so nervous but still wanna online & this made me even more nervous & worried. Ms. Pei Fen had told us that Biology is a very subject that very easy to understand but very difficult to score . Sometimes , some ppl only get not more than 10 marks. Ohhhh . No . I'm so worried. I'm now studying it. Halfway. Haven't finished . Plssss I hope everything will be all right !